| Location | Newcastle Upon Tyne |
| Age | 16 years |
| Date of Birth | 10/1988 |
| Date of Death | 3/2005 |
| Visitors | 5,940 since 07/01/2007 |
| Creator |
My son Adam took his own life March 7th 2005 he was 16 years old. We have no idea why he did this, he seemed happy to his friends, he seemed happy to me when I saw him the night before he did it. He was living with his dad because the previous year, he had started to experiment in drugs, and I was no longer able to cope with him. It did appear however, that he was starting to get his life back on track again; he was attending school again and catching up on his work.
I don’t know if I could have helped Adam anymore than I had tried to, but I can’t help but think there may have been something more that I could have done to change the outcome. I wish that I could turn back time; I wish that I would have asked him to come back home to live with me Sunday night. It's like a living nightmare, I am up and down all the time, I keep asking myself "what if" and "if only" and "why".
There is no going back from this one, I have no idea what to do, to be honest, sometimes, I just feel like I can’t go on anymore.
The pain and devastation of losing a child is indescribable. Our children shouldn’t go first, we’ve lived our lives and now it’s their turn to live theirs; all we can do as parents is hope that we did our best for them. Nobody fully recovers from the death of a child: they adjust to it as best as they can.
Adam used to love to tease his sisters when they were little; he always had a cheeky grin. He loved his music, although sometimes he loved it a little too loud and a little too early in the morning. He loved swimming, something we used to do regularly together when he was a small boy. He loved being with his friends, and seemed like he was a popular young man.
Adam was only 16, so young, and had his whole life ahead of him, he had so much going for him, he was a bright cheery lad and a good-looking young man and had great potential.
Gone are the things that we could have done together, gone are the plans he was making, the plans he was telling me about with excitement on that Sunday evening before he left us. Gone are the things he could have done, achievements he could have made, Adam’s gone.
To my dearest darling son Adam.
Thank you for the special times we spent together, particularly that mother’s day, the day before you left my life forever. I will always feel the hug you gave me and your smile will stay with me forever. I love you Adam.
http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/belovedones/id71.htm
You are in my thoughts
Denise, I'm so very sorry for you and your family the loss of your beloved Adam, he is so young. I know only too well from experience, that the pain of the loss of a child to suicide, is heartbreaking and, something that you never fully recover from. I hope that Adam has now met up with my daughter Joanne and that they have at last found peace. It's so very painful to make a memorial site for your child but, It's a way of saying that our children will never be forgotten.
Love from Maria XX
mark of respect
i never had the chance to meet adam, however at one point i was very good friends with his sister amanda, and his mum denise, adam was the only one of denised children i didnt meet, i was in a band with amanda and coincidence would have it that denise and i met on a dance course at college, , anyway, just thought as a mark of respect and regret for nver having met you in person but heard so much about you, i would leave a little message, condolences and thought for all who knew him... chrissie x
goodbye adam...
Knoxy, i never managed to make it to your funeral but i want u to know i think ov ya all tha time mate, it doesn't seem real.. the scariest thing is i spoke to u on msn about 2 days before it happened & u were fine. i wish you'd never started hangin round top-tree's wiv negros nd them. maybe you'd still be here. atleast what ever it was that made you suffer enough to do that is gone now, you may not be in newcastle anymore but we've still got the memories. See you in the next life mate, fatpants.
a letter from heaven..a friend sent this to me shortly after my Ian passed away taking his own life, it gave me comfort & do
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you
It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you
If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,
remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.
~Author~
Ruth Ann Mahaffey
i know what it's like to use a child but to lose a child and not know the reason why your child left is heartbreaking. your son had his whole life ahead of him and the only comfort you have now is the fact that he's happy now and is watching over you and your family up in heaven.
god bless
xxx
My thoughts are with you. What terrible emotional pain you must have gone through. Take heart that you did all you possibly could to show Adam that he was loved.
God Bless xx
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